So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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