the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
