i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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