Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Two words: blizzard sex
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
