Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize