he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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