Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
