airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
