AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Come see our sink grown plant.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
