You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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