im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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