I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
