It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
