I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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