no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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