wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
