I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He kissed a someone with a penis
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
