Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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