Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
