so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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