Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize