Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
