those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
