Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
