How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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