I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
