My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
