We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
