none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
