her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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