He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
