think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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