don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
