How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
