found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
