He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
