Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
