Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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