BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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