I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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