just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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