ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
zippers are such a cool invention
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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