honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
