Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
