if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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