yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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