Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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