It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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