5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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