All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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