And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
