I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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