if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
