@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We just shotgunned beers for America
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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