ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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