Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
