I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
