And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize