taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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