Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it's great music for shaving your balls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize