Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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