Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
