shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
