i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
