But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize