..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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