K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
