I want to walk on stilts...naked
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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