my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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