If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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