yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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