Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
